Brenda gets a date

Oh me god, so I was just sittin around tryin to decide if I wanted baloney or Spam sandwiches fer lunch, and de phone rang. Scared de shit outta me since I had taught it got disconnected right? Had to use all de money I had left to buy lunches fer de friggin kids fer school...jeez who woulda taught the little friggers would wanna bring a lunch EVERY DAY?!

 So anyhoo I wasn't gonna answer it cause so many people are lookin fer me...de credit department up to Sears, all me ex byfriends whose stuff I took of with, I tink de police might be lookin fer me fer dat time I took me tits out up to Thursdays and got kicked outta dere for dancin on de bar and stealin a 26er of vodka...But someting told me to answer it and I did..and lo and behold who was it? De buddy I met at de laundry mat when I was rootin through everyones dryers tryin to find some new socks fer de kids! He told me I forgot a pair of me drawers and he wanted to get em back to me. I said 'by sure I don't even wear underwear so I don't tink dey could be mine, but I sure am hungry if ya feels like takin me out fer dinner! And he did! So yes dats it now, Brenda got a date!